I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
