Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize