It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my shit smells like andre
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everclear isn't food dammit
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
