Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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