I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize