apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize