What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
