READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
