just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize