I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
