just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
