I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
