I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
