i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
