the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
