Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
