If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
