my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
