The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
