My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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