I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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