Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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