I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
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you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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