your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
