your parents love me but you hate me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
