You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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