im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
