insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
