My friends, they love my intelligence
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
