How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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