these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
