put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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