Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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