I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
