C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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