Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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