i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
