wrigley field is MILF paradise
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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