trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
