It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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