Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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