I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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