She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
