stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize