glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
