Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this boner is exhausting
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
