She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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