By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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