Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
