You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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