so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
