At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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