The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The air was thick with penises
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
