I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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