just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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