just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
