I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
