id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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