Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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